Journal.
Mi ma está aprovechando estos últimos días de vacaciones para mandarnos a ordenar la casa. Y en todo eso encontré un diario de esos que hay que comprar todos los años para ir al colegio y anotar las tareas (Cosa que estoy segura, pocos de verdad lo hacen) que tiene unas 5 entradas sobre mi problema amoroso de ese momento. El diario es del 2008 y esos recuerdos me hacen sonreir. Asi que como me toca botar el diario, voy a guardar aquí esas entradas (:
PD. Yo escribo en mis diarios en inglés.
Lunes 12, Mayo, 2008.
Okay, so first day of the project week. It's hard to believe that my partner ended up being him, right?
Almost impossible. Who would have thought about it? Well, I don't really care about that, he's just freaking hot (I know he's not, I just like to say he is). Why does he look so sexy with black shirts? I guess that's something we'll never find out.
We touched each other :O. I really like this boy, I have to ask him if the 47% hasn't changed at all. Why does he have to be so confusing? He needs to learn how to take his own decisions and just stay with it. But whatever, I like him the way he is.
Hugs & Kisses
Möi
Martes 13, Mayo, 2008.
Second day, people just keep looking at me because of what I wear and they make this stupid comments, but I don't care, I dress how I wanna dress, and to be honest, I LOVE how the guys turn their heads to see my legs. It makes me feel sexy for like a minute. Then I see a girl that is also looking at me and I figured that she's thinking this stupid stuff of me like "Oh, gosh, what a whore" and stuff.
I don't know what's got into this friend of mine, by the way, how she's dressing, but she looks good, too. So I guess there's nothing wrong for people to look how they like to look.
We did it again.
Hugs & Kisses
Moi.
Miércoles 14, Mayo, 2008.
I really think I like him more than any other guy I've liked. Guess it's because of the kissing thing. I hate when he cares about what people say.
Because then he's always like "Don't pay attention to the comments people make about us" and what does he do on football lessons? Oh, yeah, deny the fact that we were together. Sure, it does not hurt, I mean, what kind of girl would care that the guy she likes denies that he was ever in love with her? Except of every normal girl, that is. God, and then he says "Don't say that kind of stuff, I have feelings, too." You do? Are you sure? Or you call feelings the fact that you want to fuck with a girl? Those are not feelings and you should know it.
Hugs & Kisses
Moi
Jueves 15, Mayo, 2008.
We didn't do anything, not yesterday nor today. I really miss that stuff. Unbelievably I am more masoquist than this boy.
He likes pain, he does. But only physical pain. And apparently I like as physical as emotional pain, cool, huh? I should forget him, I really should. Forget him and stop being his best friend, that's what everyone wants me to do. But I can't people, I've tried and maybe my friends are right, I'm just too weak to get over stuff. I'm also afraid of us getting away, somewhere isolated. I know him, a lot, I don't think we'd still be friends if we stopped doing that stuff. He keeps on saying "No, that won't happen", but I'm just too scared to try.
Hugs & Kisses
Moi
Viernes 16, Mayo, 2008.
Okay, so this is like... God, the weirdest day I've ever had. And I can say officially that I am just a desperate girl who would do anything for a guy so he could like her more than 49, 4%. Oh, boy, that was the worst thing for me to do. I am only 13 and look what I did, that was so fucking wrong. I can't believe it. When did I star being THAT kind of girl?!? I feel like I failed to myself, my family and friends. That was just crossing the line. I don't even know why I told him I wanted to do that. I am so sorry. I just dont think i would ever forgive myself for what i did today. i remember i said i shouldnt regret my actions but this is a huge exception.
Moi.



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